Every marriage is different. In some marriages, the husband and wife are on equal footing. Both have the same say when it comes to making important family decisions. Neither spouse is subservient to the other. There is an equal give and take, and both voices are heard.

Quite often, though, one spouse is more of the “dominant” spouse. They make all the decisions. They don’t need their spouse’s approval for anything. They control the household. The opinion of the “subservient” spouse doesn’t matter. The subservient spouse’s only role (or so it seems) is to satisfy the dominant spouse. If the dominant spouse gets their way, then all is well in the world. Perhaps not surprisingly, though, these marriages often end in divorce.

These are the rules in a dominant / subservient marriage. But, when a divorce starts, that rulebook is thrown out the window. This can be a rude awakening for the dominant spouse. During divorce negotiations, the subservient spouse may feel like they have no choice but to give in to the demands of the dominant spouse. That’s what they are used to, after all. But that’s not the case. The rules are different now. The laws of the State of Minnesota now govern. The dominant spouse doesn’t get their way just because that’s the way it has always been. At least not if the subservient spouse doesn’t let them.

This can be an empowering experience for the subservient spouse. They no longer have to go along with whatever their spouse wants. It can also cause quite a bit of anger and resentment on the part of the dominant spouse. They are not accustomed to not getting their way. They don’t like the lack of control.

Divorce is supposed to be a level playing field. If you were the subservient spouse during the marriage, don’t let your spouse get away with insisting on their own way during the divorce, too.


Meet Marc Beyer

Marc Beyer practices in all areas of family law, including divorce, child custody, parenting time, child support, spousal maintenance, and property division. Marc’s philosophy is to negotiate the best settlement possible, but he is prepared to go to trial when necessary. Recognizing that every situation is unique, Marc takes pride in listening to his client’s concerns, and creates goals, expectations, and case strategy for the client accordingly.


Contact Beyer & Simonson

If you are facing divorce and any of the divorce-related issues such as spousal maintenance, child support, child custody, property division, or domestic abuse matters, you need our experienced Minneapolis divorce attorneys to help you. Contact Beyer & Simonson in Edina, Minnesota today at (952) 303-6007.

Latest Posts related to Divorce