Tough Love

Posted on Tuesday, June 13th, 2017 by Marc Beyer and is filed under Divorce, Life, Process.

As the party to a divorce case, you see the world through a different lens than I do. Your perspective is necessarily clouded by emotion and the daily grind of living through the divorce process. I have a more detached perspective, and am better able to see your case for what it is. I am in a much better position to see the case the way the Court will see your case.

When I give you advice, then, understand that it is from this perspective. You may be totally blind as to how your actions – however justified in your eyes – might not be perceived that way by the Court. Here’s an example: Let’s say that you are concerned that your spouse is going to drain the money in your joint checking account. So, you want to transfer all of the money to an account just in your name “for safe keeping” so that your spouse can’t access the money and waste it.

In your mind, this might be a necessary action in order to preserve your marital estate. Ironically, though, if you were to do this, you are doing the exact same thing that you were concerned your spouse was going to do. As a general rule, it’s usually not a good idea to move large amounts of money around without discussing it with your spouse. People start to panic and assume the worst. They will assume that you spent it all, or that you intend to do so.

In this example, you may feel that you were doing the right thing in order to preserve the marital estate, but it could easily be interpreted as attempting to disadvantage your spouse. Ideally, you and your spouse can maintain the status quo with regard to marital spending until the divorce has been finalized. Or, maybe you can agree to equally divide the cash in your joint checking account during the proceedings. But I might have to “get tough” with you and tell you that you should not be unilaterally draining bank accounts.

If I do this, it’s for your own good. I’m not trying to help your spouse. Rather, I’m trying to keep you from shooting yourself in the foot. You don’t want to take any actions that could unwittingly hurt your own case, even if what you think you are doing is right.

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If you are facing divorce and any of the divorce-related issues such as spousal maintenance, child support, child custody, property division, or domestic abuse matters, you need our experienced Minneapolis divorce attorneys to help you. Contact Beyer & Simonson in Edina, Minnesota today at (952) 303-6007.